The Healing Helper

There’s a gospel song by Kurt Carr that resonates deeply with my journey: “I Almost Let Go.” The lyrics echo a familiar pain:

“I almost let go.
I felt like I just couldn’t take life anymore.
My problems held me bound, depression weighed me down.
But God held me close, so I wouldn’t let go.
God’s mercy kept me, so I wouldn’t let go.

If I’m being honest, I almost gave up. I was right at the edge of a breakthrough, but I couldn’t see it. The devil really had me, but Jesus came and grabbed me, held me close, and God’s mercy kept me, so I wouldn’t let go.“

Today, I continue to share my testimony because as the Bible says, “We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the testimony of others!” All my praise goes to God for the healing in my mind and body.

During the early stages of my journey with cancer, I found myself in some pretty dark mental spaces. I truly thought I was going to die. I even started having difficult conversations with my family conversations many didn’t want to hear. My oncologist told me I had about a year and a half if the tumor wasn’t removed. That news hit me like a punch to the gut.

Everyone around me tried to assure me that I would be fine, but I was reading my MyChart, poring over my medical records. Having worked in healthcare for most of my life, I understood the language, and sometimes knowledge can send you down a rabbit hole. Many encouraged me to stay off MyChart for my mental health, but I never listened. I wanted to know everything, even if it meant sleepless nights reading every single document from surgical details to the pathology report that confirmed my diagnosis.

Hearing the diagnosis and learning the treatment plan was devastating. I was crushed, crying out to God, “Haven’t I been through enough?” Chemotherapy brought its own set of challenges. After my first round, I landed in the hospital for ten days with a fever that just wouldn’t break. I remember calling my brother at 3 a.m., crying, convinced that I was terminally ill and that the chemo would take me out.

But in that moment of despair, I began to pray, “God, I believe help my unbelief.” I started filling my heart with God’s word reading devotionals, listening to worship music, and leaning on the love and prayers of friends and family. I declared: “I will live and not die, in Christ Jesus’ name. Amen.”

I realized that if cancer wasn’t going to kill me physically, it could still take me out mentally. I didn’t want to suffer, and I didn’t want my son to watch me wither away. Then something shifted in me a question rose up: Whose word are you going to believe? The word of God says:

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalms 23:4 NKJV)

God never promised us a life without tribulations, but He promised to be with us through every valley. That realization changed my perspective. I became intentional about living and watched God perform miracles within me.

In 2025, I sought a closer relationship with God and joined a discipleship group. It’s no surprise that the enemy attacks your faith when you’re vulnerable. But here I am, living proof of what God can do! As my sister said, “That tumor is dying; you are not!”

If you’re at the edge, feeling like you can’t go on, remember: God’s mercy will keep you, just as it kept me. Hold on. Your breakthrough is closer than you think.

Taneka M. McCoy, MS, CRC, NCC, LCMHC-S

Disclaimer:

The content shared on this blog reflects my personal journey and experiences. It is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are seeking guidance or support for mental health or personal issues, please consult a licensed counselor or qualified mental health professional. Your well-being is important, and professional support can provide the care and expertise you deserve.